Alright, that sounds a bit melodramatic. It was an enjoyable film. It just suffered from lackluster dialogue, gaping plot holes, and flat characters. After hearing mixed reviews about Tim Burton's 'Alice in Wonderland', I decided it was best to view it on the regular screen, not IMAX3-D. I didn't feel like I was missing anything special. Yes, the Cheshire Cat would be interesting to see floating inches in front of my nose, but it wasn't necessary in order to feel the same way about the movie.
Now don't get me wrong; I liked the movie. It was a mindless adventure that I didn't have to think my way through. In fact, it became less enjoyable the more I thought while watching it. There is a fight between the White Queen and the Red Queen. The only indication on why it's there is when the Red Queen screams, "I should be queen because I'm the eldest!" And it's implied that the White Queen would be a better one than the Red, but the reason 'why' isn't explained, either. It is never explained why Alice is the only one who can take on the Jabberwocky, and the same for practically every occurance in 'Underland'. (Alice mis-heard it the first time she was there and called it 'Wonderland'.) The only part that made sense was why the Mad Hatter acted like he had (according to MSN.com's review with a similar title) post-traumatic stress disorder.
It is dark for anyone under 13, but for anyone over it's a visual spectacle worth seeing, if nothing else for the crazily gorgeous world created in computers. Speaking from an artistic sense, I loved Johnny Depp's make-up job, but the hair made him look like Gene Wilder's Willy Wonka gone wrong. (Funnily enough, I didn't really like Johnny Depp as Willy Wonka, either...Burton is losing his touch.) It was exciting to see the climactic battle. The script tried to be poignant, drawing back to a quote Alice's father said in the beginning; it would have worked better if Alice repeatedly refered to it instead of just at the end. The supporting cast was really the most interesting part about the movie. All in all, I would give it 1 1/2 's out of five. If you know someone with a big screen TV, rent it and watch it on that. You won't be missing anything.